http://ibuberu.livejournal.com/ ([identity profile] ibuberu.livejournal.com) wrote in [community profile] southofreality 2011-02-20 12:07 am (UTC)

I like how you add more detail into Lark's original fic with Green's POV. The original focused on Red, but this did a nice job of seeing the picture from someone else's eyes.

"He’s never been too conscious of its size before, but with Red and Pikachu there, it’s become claustrophobic and too crowded to fit all their lofty dreams." - this line ;; I really like it, great way of conveying Green's emotions. The slightly introspective style here works very well too, and aw, the oxygen bonding thing is adorable.

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