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southofreality2010-07-28 02:03 am
koyuki) wrote in southofreality2010-07-28 02:03 am
Entry tags:
Can't Be Tamed (Green/Red, one-shot)
Title: Can't Be Tamed
Rating: MA-15+ (PG-13)
Word Count: 682
Genre: Humor/failed smut (emphasis on the failed)
Series: Pokémon
Characters/Pairings: Red/Green
Warnings: this is beginner's porn. and by porn I really mean fail. trust me. the funny to hot ratio in this is like 99.9:0.1
Summary: Green has obligations. Red likes suits. These two things do not really go well together.
A/N: For
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wanderlarkTitle courtesy of
kouriko who apparently has as terrible a sense of humour as I do. I do not actually like Miley Cyrus okay, it's just ... funny.Can't Be Tamed
Red was not a man of many words, no. Actually, he tended not to be a man any of words if possible, but sometimes, even he needed to use those pesky little things in order to communicate.
But only sometimes. When he kicked open Green's door and walked in looking rather murderous, Green realized that this, unfortunately, would not be one of those times.
"R-Red," Green said. "What are you doing here?"
Red surveyed how disorganized Green's apartment had gotten while packing, and while he was still distracted, Green brain's went into overdrive in attempt to figure out what he could've done to make Red so upset.
Red's eyes landed on him about five seconds later, looking slightly bemused.
"I'm going to be at a gym leader's conference this week. Didn't I -" Oh. Green was supposed to visit Red today, but he had been so busy packing that he forgot. Green cursed under his breath.
Red only seemed to be half-listening to Green's explanation, eyes trailing down the black suit Green was wearing, then back up, finally coming to rest on his dark green tie. Red's tongue flickered out and licked his bottom lip.
Green laughed nervously and pulled on his collar, the tie suddenly feeling a little too tight. He shifted uncomfortably, not quite used to his new suit yet. "I, um, I tried to tell you last week, but..." But it slipped his mind when Red had pounced on him and they had gotten "busy."
Before Green could finish explaining, Red closed the ten or so feet of distance between the two of them, feral glint in his eyes. Green took half a step backwards, accidentally stumbling over his suitcase, and landed on his bed. Green pathetically attempted to shuffle backwards a few inches, but Red had climbed onto the bed after him and proceeded to straddled Green.
"Um," Green said valiantly, before all the blood could rush to his head. His other head. "I'm really sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you when I get ba-"
Red grabbed Green's tie and jerked it towards him, shoving his tongue in Green's mouth.
Oh, Green's brain supplied helpfully.
"I can't - this conference - important. Train leaving - one hour. Can't be late -" he managed to gasp out a few minutes later, when Red finally decided to let him breathe.
Red paused as he was unbuttoning Green's suit jacket. "You talk too much," he hissed out, and then bit down on Green's bottom lip.
Which is right about when Green's brain exploded, and he realized he was not about to go anywhere anytime soon.
Since there was no point in protesting, Green began to tug off his tie while Red was fumbling with his zipper in an attempt to help, only to smacked away by Red's hand.
"Leave it on," Red demanded, which only made Green's brain shut down, and that was last thing either of them said for a while.*
("My tie," Green whined later, when he finally had the chance to examine what his silk tie had become.
"I'll buy you a new one," Red promised.
"My suit," Green said even more woefully.
"That too," Red agreed.)
extra
The organizer for the gym leader conference tapped her foot impatiently, and then looked up worriedly at the clock. Her keynote speaker - former champion and current Viridian City gym leader, Green - was supposed to show up half an hour ago.
She jumped when her cellphone rang, startled, but was relieved when she saw the name on the caller ID.
"Mr. Oak," she said into the speaker, "where are you?"
There was a slight pause. "Um, some - thing came up," Green finally said, his voice slightly breathless.
She raised an eyebrow. "Are you okay, Mr. Oak?"
"Yeah, yeah, just. I'll be there tomorrow." She was about to protest when she heard some shuffling noise.
"...Mr. Oak?"
"Actually - sorry, I don't thinkI'llbeabletomakeitthistime," Green squeaked out the last half of his statement, and hung up with a click before she could say anything else.
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Oh, Green and his poor suit, + the conference organizer XD
He's so whipped.
Psst- "shoving his tonguge in Green's mouth" -> tongue, yes? ;)
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I feel even worse for the conference organizer than anything else. I don't think Green minded all that much. ;)
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I looked up some lyrics.
I wanna fly I wanna drive I wanna go
I wanna be a part of something I don’t know
And if you try to hold me back I might explode
Baby by now you should know
I can't be tamed...
A+
So anyway, I loved this. xDD
I lol'd so hard at Red licking his lips.
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Licking lips is hilarious and sometimes sexy? Green is yummy 8)
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red's pretty possisive xd
awesome ++ lovelovee :D
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Thanks for reading~
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I kind of feel bad for the organizer... but not if it means we get Red/Green so eh, she can wait.:P
Thanks for writing this~♥
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And it's her fic, so I'll just accept that as canon.
I don't think Green minds though since he's getting some. And by some I mean a lot. Haha.
Thanks for reading! ♥
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Your icon... weirds me out. O_o
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Can you just imagine Red and Green going to buy Green a new suit? The amount of torture Red would put Green through is hilarious and awful. XD
It's a hilarious and awesome first stab at smut. There are mistakes here and there, but since this was written quickly, I don't know if you want concrit or not. I'll just tell you that YOU'RE AWESOME and THANK YOU for filling this; I thought I would never see a fill, especially one as hilarious and endearing as this one!
(And see, your Red and my Red are a little different so we are not actually the same person, we are still unique snowflakes /sob)
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You can concrit if you want. I like hearing them at least. :3 Though I'm pretty sure I've learned that smut is never supposed to be funny if it's meant to be hot. I'm pretty sure those things are mutually exclusive. >_> Not that I'm ever writing smut ever again.
They are! But I think our Greens are so similar that they might as well be the same person hahahaha
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No, smut can be funny and hot at the same time. It is just incredibly hard and if you can pull it off spectacularly, you're a real master.
Pfft, if we ever do a fic trade again I know what I'm asking for >D!
/s-sob
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